Funky Monkey Farms

Where Happiness Grows on Trees


Tired of flat, flavorless, wilted produce that quickly goes bad?  Same here, plus those produce stickers just don't taste very good.  For almost 30 years, Funky's been producing and preserving the freshest, most flavorful homegrown fruits, vegetables, and herbs, all without stickers.

Contact Us

You can email us at with any questions or comments.

We're located at the blinking light, at the corner of Davis Bend and House Streets in Alvin, TX.

785 Davis Bend Road, Alvin, TX 77511

Get Directions  


Where’d you come from cause we’ve never seen you around here before?

California, home of the hippies, fruits, nuts, and flakes. Doesn’t that just explain everything?  Have you ever been to Berkeley?  We're recreating it here!  

What IS this place, anyway?

If you're over 50 years old, you remember when there was a sense of community, before the internet, cheap China imported goods and big box stores changed the world.  Stores you visited were family owned and everyone knew you.  We miss that.  It's our mission to foster that sense of community through our farm and we're hoping you share our vision. Here, you'll find people spending time with one another in the garden, animal rescue groups with adoptable pets, wine making and gardening classes, turkeys that can't get enough attention, and witty farmers who greet you by name. We are very much like the community in the old TV series "Cheers!".   Come join us!  Everyone is welcome as part of our community family.  

Can the public come visit or volunteer?   

Our farm stand and UPick are open to the public.  Pricing for the UPick is posted at the farm stand.  If you want to volunteer, let us know.  You'll go home with free produce for your efforts, make a few new friends, and maybe learn something in the process.  Wear old clothes, comfy shoes, a hat, and bring gloves, pruners, bug spray and sunscreen if you want to volunteer.  Please wear closed toed shoes. This is Texas and we have pesky fire ants.  

Can we pick our own produce?   

Yes.  The UPick veggies are open to everyone!  Pricing for UPick is located at the farm stand.   Our 86 fruit trees are still young yet and they won't have much fruit until about 2018.  If you don't want to pick, we will do it for you!  

Do you deliver?

Yes!  Each week, choose from numerous kinds of veggies, herbs, baked goods, eggs, and meat.  There's a $40 veggie minimum plus a $5.00 delivery fee.  If you want to pick up at the farm, there's no minimum.   If you want to sign up, send us an email!   Order forms are e-mailed weekly.  

How’d you come up with that name?

Does it make you smile?  If not, just say it and you’ll grin!  Funky’s never met anyone who didn’t smile when they heard his name.  And smiling is what it’s all about.  

Where is the produce and where do we park?

The produce is in the barn.  Please park on the driveway or the grass to the right of the driveway if it's not soggy.  

Why are we encouraged to share dog and cat food with you?

It’s our responsibility, as a community, to do what we can for those who are less fortunate.  All customers are asked to donate a can or bag of puppy, dog, kitten, or cat food.  The food is given to local animal rescue shelters as Funky’s way of helping animals that are less fortunate.  Toys!  We need lots of dog and kitty toys!  

Do you have farm animals?

Yes!  We have baby chicks, goslings, chickens and attention loving turkeys right now. There's guineas in the incubator and the baby goats will be here in a few weeks.  

Can we "just walk around the farm" or take a field trip to see the farm?

Yes!  Seasonally, the farm stand and UPick area are open to everyone.  Pricing is located at the farm stand.